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Friday, May 7, 2010

Being a mom.............

Going with the whole mothers day hype I want to write a post on how hard it is to be a mother.


I think the word mother should be replaced with sacrifice. Because if there is one thing I have learned as a mom is that you need to make sacrifices. Some are bigger than others but none the less you will have to make sacrifices.

Some sacrifices can't be avoided - I mean your body WILL change and in some cases (like mine) it will never ever be the same again.

Some sacrifices are easy because your kids survival depend on them. Like giving up 8 hours of sleep a night. I can't even remember when was the last time I slept 8 hours straight in the past 3 years. But I can still function to an extent without suffice sleep.

Other sacrifices are hard. I am talking about the type of sacrifices that run deep. The type that no one knows about except you. The type that you can NEVER reveal because it will ruin everything that you have been losing sleep over.

As a mom putting your kids first comes natural. I can't do it any other way even if I wanted to. Is this wrong? Maybe? But my kids did not choose to come into this world, I did. And it is thus my responsibility to take care of them to the best of my ability and to put their needs in front of mine. ALWAYS. No questions asked.

I am sure there are other mothers out there that know exactly what I'm talking about. I won't lie. Being a mother is fucking hard. Like Briget said in on of her posts the other day - "There is no manual". So I can only do what I feel is best and to their benefit.

All I know is that I want to protect them with my whole life and that I will NEVER do anything to jeopardise their happiness.

So yes that is what me does - I sacrifice. Because waking up in the morning to big sloppy kisses and "Mommy I love you very much" is worth more than ANYTHING else in the world.

Happy mothersday to all you sacrificing ladies out there!

The Letter

I wanted to post a password protected post but Blogspot does not have such functionality, which is a total #brandfail in my opinion but anyway.

So..................................

Oh before I say anything else I just want to quickly make the following statement. When I started this new blog it was because I needed a place where I could be completely honest with myself and I know that limited people know about the address and have access to my innest, deepest, darkest secrets. But because I can't fucking password protect the damn thing I have to do the following:

If you want to read this post aka The Letter you need to e-mail me at natschutte@gmail.com requesting me to send you the post via e-mail, muff I know but that is the only way.


So........

In the past week I met up again with my ex (the last one before my husband). He is currently visiting SA as he has been staying in the UK the past 4/5 years. Even though I have dreamt of him quite often (as I do of every one that has meaning to me) I didn't realise how much unresolved issues/feelings etc there still were between us. So I have written him a letter. Not because I'm into old style letter sending or shit like that but just because like all of my fellow bloggers we just articulate better with the written language than the spoken one.

I will send you my letter if you promise to do the following:

1. DO NOT JUDGE - It was a difficult decision to make whether or not to "openly" write and post about it and the last thing I need is a bunch of hypocrites judging me.

2. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF - I know some things in relationships are better off not being said out loud so there is no need to wake sleeping dogs.

3. COMMENT - Ok so I also like it when people comment now and then :-)


Ok so you know what you gotta do!


P.s The Letter is in Afrikaans, because writing an English letter to a person I speak Afrikaans with is just well stupid. If you do not understand Afrikaans you can copy and paste the context into Google Translate. But beware there might be stuff up with some of the direct translation.