I'm back!!!!!!!!!

Intro.....

Me: Hi my name is Natasha and I have not blogged for over a year (maybe more)

All of you together: Hi Natasha.

Well now that the welcome is sorted out let's get to the important part. WHY THE HELL I STOPPED BLOGGING?

Well to make a long story short - I didn't feel like it!

I stopped when I was 6 weeks pregnant (with my 2nd) and puking my guts out. I felt horrible and on the verge of a certain death. Somehow I survived, got busy and just did not feel like writing. But like a nasty recurring yeast infection I'm back..........hopefully for good this time!

I have been reading about 2 million blogs a day (not always commenting - sorry) and I just felt this immense urge to return to blogging. To write down the boring and not so boring stuff that happens in my daily life!

So I'm going to tell you 50 things that happened to me in the past 18 months - try and keep up cause it's a shit load!


1. I had an AWEFULL pregnancy - hated every minute and decided it WILL be my last!
2. Wanted a divorce at least every second day - hormones baby!
3. Had to cope with an almost 2 year old kid! She can be very glad she is damn cute and smart :-)
4. I took secret naps at work on the toilet - told you this 2nd pregnancy sucked!
5. Went into premature labor 4 times, eventually gave birth to a healthy daughter Mia at 36 Weeks via Emergency C-section
6. I only picked up 10kg's during pregnancy - Take that bitch!
7. Only breastfed for 6 weeks - breast dried up like prunes in the sun (note to self never reveal to readers that breast now actually resemble dried prunes)
8. I went on 4 months UNPAID maternity leave (my employer is great like that)
9. I picked up the 10kg's I lost after the birth in 4 weeks - WARNING Jungle Juice is packed with calories :-(
10. Spent R18 000 on my car for a new gearbox and clutch and it is STILL not working - fucking fabulous!
11. I couldn't wait to get back to work. I realized pretty quickly I'm no SAHM. For my children and my own safety, I must break from them every day for a couple of hours!
12. On my first day back at work, I stood in front of my cupboard for an hour – I got so fat I had absolutely NO work clothes that fit – A R G H !!
13. Being back at work……bliss!!!
14. We were too poor (or financially challenged) to go away for December (because of my farking car), but my parents came to our rescue and sponsored a week away at the coast (with them of course) and it was great!
15. I learned January that our company is in trouble and that retrenchments are taking place – Shit 
16. I actually considered working in Spur to supplement our income –I know it was a moment of pure idiocy. I would rather strip than go back to waitering. (Although I don’t think Mr Jackson hires old, saggy, 36LONGD dancers who can barely just touch their toes, let alone split).
17. Just the thought of a split caused me to drink a Voltaren.
18. My oldest started potty training and it went exceptionally well (agh what am I talking about I KNEW it would go well, cause she got my brains)
19. My second started crawling – hoo-farking-ray I don’t have to carry her around any more!!!
20. I realize one day how blessed I am to have such great HEALTHY kids!
21. A few moments after this realization they both get sick with a virus called Hemastomatitus. They stop eating and drinking and Mia needs to be hospitalized for dehydration.
22. I spend 2 nights sleeping/sitting in a hospital chair – they are upgrading the children’s ward and there is only one private room – already in use.
23. Oh I forgot to add my husband went for a Vasectomy in January – Yes sadly it’s the end of our multiplying and producing fabulous children!! *The words Happy days keep ringing in my ears*
24. But on the good side the start of our shagging like bunny rabbits without worries starts – Hell yeah!
25. I lied I only got 25 at this stage, but I will add if I remember anything else.


If you don't know me and want a real quick overview go here
For the rest of you, watch this space cause this mamma is here to stay!