Let's talk balls

WHAT IS IT WITH MEN AND THEIR BALLS?

Maybe I don't understand it because I am a woman......

Maybe I don't understand it because men are not big on using a lot of detail when explaining issues regarding their balls.........

Or maybe I'm just a freak because balls fascinate me more than the average person.....


Off with his balls (a true story)

When my husband had to go for his first Dr's appointment before his vasectomy he was scared shitless. Scared like I haven't seen him before!

We had a conversation that went something like this (I will translate in English):

Him: "Do you think the Dr is going to touch me there?"

Me: "Of course he is. How else can he do a proper examination"

Him: "Just the thought of it makes me want to vomit"

Me: "It can't be that bad."

Him: "I hope they put me out before they start doing the operation"

Me: In a loving voice "My dear he can't cut you open with you still feeling everything - it will be too painful and unethical, so yes you will receive anaesthetic."

Him: "Yeah but what if the nurse touches me there while I'm still awake?"

Me: Getting slightly irritated now "My angel how else can she or even he prepare you for surgery by scrubbing and shaving you if they can't touch you THERE?"

Suddenly he runs to the bathroom only to return 20 minutes later. Guess what he did? He went to shave and scrub his balls (2 weeks before his planned operation)

Him: "All done, now no nurse male of female needs to touch me." (He says with a smirk on his face)

Me: "Except when they massage your balls after the operation to stimulate blood circulation"

SNORT!!

The expression on his face was so farking hilarious I almost wet myself!

He eventually went for the op, hated it, moaned about his sensitive balls and the discomfort and so on and so on. As a loving and caring wife I offered to change his dressings, bring him his pain meds and even massage his balls to stimulate the blood circulation. To be honest I was so freaking curious to see the scar (yes I am strange like that) I would have done anything to take a look but NO. My over-sensitive-about-his-balls-husband said NO. I mean it's not like I haven't seen them a thousand times before!

Needless to say it was balls-off for me :-(

So my question is: ARE ALL MEN THIS SENSITIVE ABOUT THEIR 2 SPECIAL SMALL/MEDIUM/LARGE/XTRA-LARGE GRAPE-SHAPED FRIENDS?


While I'm on that subject here are a few interesting ball facts:


1. Hitler and Napoleon both had only one testicle. Yes and they were both midgets :-)

2. It was the custom in Ancient Rome for the men to place their right hand on their testicles when taking an oath. The modern term 'testimony' is derived from this tradition. I swear by my testicles to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

3. Sperm die in very hot conditions, thus the reason for the testicles cool temperature. Cool Balls hahaha!

4. The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right testicle in right handed men and the left testicle hangs lower than the right in left handed men.

5. The robot from Transformers 2 Devastator's testicles took up 2.3 terabytes of disk space all on their own. Jeez that's huge ;-)

6. South Bend, Nebraska serves more testicles than any where in the world at its 'Testicle Festival'. Yes our black friends in SA aren't the only culture in the world to eat testicles.

7. Video of man with biggest balls in the world - No comment :-)